I would first suggest trying the current ctags binary if it exhibits the same problem so we are sure it's the ctags parser problem. You can for instance install homebrew and use the ctags version here:
https://formulae.brew.sh/formula/universal-ctags
If you reproduce the problem (i.e. long parsing time), you could then bisect it to the ctags version that causes the problem. To get build tools (and also the debugger as Lex suggested), it's best to install XCode - either from the App Store or from Apple's developer website (but I think for the second option you have to create a developer account at Apple first). When you first launch XCode, it should install the necessary command-line tools for you.
Then you can install build dependencies for ctags using ``` brew install automake pkg-config bash libxml2 jansson libyaml gdb docutils pcre2 ```
clone the git ctags repo from here ``` https://github.com/universal-ctags/ctags ```
and build it ``` ./autogen.sh ./configure ./make -j 9 ```
This will create the `./ctags` binary inside the ctags directory you can then test (make sure you are running this file and not the installed homebrew ctags version). You can manually bisect the ba commit by checking various ctags versions where the sql parser was changed:
https://github.com/universal-ctags/ctags/commits/master/parsers/sql.c
or by using `git bisect`. And of course if you have a linux box around or a VM, you can do it there and avoid installing XCode and homebrew.